The Sky Won't Fall

By now, you may have heard about a commercial called The Gathering Storm airing in certain local markets scaring folks into believing that if gay marriage happens, then all evil and heck will break loose and churches will be forced to perform these marriages or face governmental penalties.

The forces that organized that commercial are targeting states such as Maine and New Jersey, those who are now considering legalizing gay marriages. Their hopes are to scare folks into believing that gay marriage will destroy the institution of marriage and force everyone to do abide by gay marriage or face dire penalities.

There really isn't anything to fear about this issue since churches have always had the right to not perform any marriage it doesn't want to or can't, due to denominational constraints. This video explains that in more detail as well as showing, in States that have gay marriage, that the sky hasn't fallen and all the scare tactics of conservatives who use fearmongering to scare folks simply have not come to pass.



* Update: I found another video that speaks directly to the original video.

Video Weekly, Thursday, April 9, 2009

An Interesting Conversation

Given that Vermont just passed a gay marriage initiative and Iowa is paving the way for such, and given how our church is Open and Affirming, I am thinking that the following post is applicable to conversations about tolerance and affirmation.

As we learned during our Open and Affirming resolution process, tolerance is not the same thing as affirming. Tolerance continues to allow or acknowledge, with restrictions, the value of another person or thing. Affirming, however, seeks to enable, strengthen, and support as equal a person or thing. To help illustrate this point, Huffington Post has a great article about a conversation between a conservative Jewish woman and an openly gay man as they sit next to one another on a plane trip.

I knew it was going to be a long flight when I asked the sweet grandmotherly woman sitting next to me why she was flying into town. "I'm the head of a non-profit Jewish organization," she said. Cool, I thought, until she finished. "We're here to work with the Christian Coalition."

Oi vey.

I twisted. I turned. I squirmed. I picked up a book. I did not want to have a conversation with this woman. But having grown up with a Jewish grandmother, I knew resistance was futile.

So we talked. And sure enough she raised a question so Jewish it practically comes with Matzo balls: "So are you single?"

There's a time and a place for coming out. This wasn't one of them. "Yes," I answered, quickly changing the subject. But she kept returning to the subject. "A nice boy like you not married?" I said something about not meeting the right person and changed the subject again.

Ignoring the subject switch, she said, "Well, I bet you have plenty of girls you're dating."

I told her I didn't and changed the subject. *Again.* She changed the subject right back. "So, really," she asked me. "Tell me why you haven't married."

I cracked. I put my book down, turned to her and said,

"I would if I could." She was confused. I looked in her eyes. "I'm gay."

Judging by the length of her silence, I clearly surprised her. And she surprised me right back. Her reaction wasn't at all what I expected. She didn't turn her shoulder and ignore me for the rest of the flight. She didn't suddenly go quiet and change the subject. Instead, she narrowed her eyes and said,

"Why do you people constantly flaunt your homosexuality? The peace on the plane was about to turn into a fight on the flight. "What do you mean 'flaunt,'" I said, exasperated. "I've been trying to keep my private life private but you've been badgering me about it for the last 15 minutes. What did you want me to do -- lie?"

"Yes," she said.

And with that one word I understood something about conservative people that I hadn't realized before. If they can't change you to fit their narrow view of the world, they expect you to at least have the decency to lie about it.

I stared straight ahead for a few seconds then turned to the woman. "You wanted me to pretend I'm something I'm not so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable."

"Yes."

"So honesty is a virtue, unless it makes people uncomfortable?"

Now it was her turn to change the subject. Unfortunately, she turned it to every defamatory and derogatory distortion about gay people.

This was why I was trying to avoid the subject altogether. The only legitimate complaints on an airplane should be the food and the legroom. And now I had a stranger complaining about the most intimate aspect of my life.

I figured I could argue or ignore. The problem with the first strategy is that I'd never win; the problem with the second was that I'd never win.

It was a lose-lose proposition. Until I realized I was focusing on the wrong kind of win. I'd never triumph in a debate because conservatives react to logic and reason the way asthmatics react to pollen dust -- badly.

But there was something else I could win -- her heart. The only way to do that was to be everything she wasn't -- respectful, considerate, tolerant, gracious and funny. I didn't let her get away with any of the half-baked lies conservatives love to talk about (AIDS is a gay disease, etc.) but I also made my points in a way that disarmed her. In the end, I proved what everyone knows intuitively -- that what you say doesn't have nearly the power of how you say it.

By the time the plane landed we had moved on to other subjects, laughing and joking all the way through. When she got up to leave she offered her hand. I took it. "You didn't change my mind about the subject," she said. "But you changed my mind about you."

As I stepped off the plane I wondered how long it would take her to figure out there wasn't any difference between the two.

h/t to Kenneth in the (212) for posting the Huffington Post story.

Town Hall for Hope

As many of you know, we have been providing Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, a debt management program that helps you get out of, and stay out of, debt. Some of you have asked how Dave Ramsey would respond to our recession and how we might make the most of this difficult situation. Given that his DVDs that teach our class were produced before the economic disaster, we've wondered how to respond using his methods and techniques for debt management.

On Thursday, April 23 at 8:00 PM, Dave will be hosting a nationwide discussion and you're invited to participate. At churches all across America, and in 3 local churches nearby, his national discussion will be televised. This is a great opportunity to hear his thoughts and ideas about "choosing not to live in our current recession."

As a church, we could host this event. However, I just found out about it and I wonder if 3 weeks is enough time to put something like this together. If you're interested in participating or going to a church nearby, then drop me a note and let's organize something. In the meantime, here is a brief video about the national discussion.

The Ark

The Ark is a short film animated by Grzegorz Jonkajtys and Marcin Kobylecki.

It's premise is that an unknown virus has destroyed almost the entire human population.
Oblivious to the true nature of the disease, the only remaining survivors escape to the sea. In great ships, they set out in search of uninhabited land. So begin the exodus, let by one man...

I found it truly fascinating.



h/t Jane Ann Groom on her Facebook page.

Outreach: What Works Best

Here are some interesting results about witnessing, sharing one's faith, and the best way and time to do it. I know in the UCC, we don't talk much about personal conversations about God and evangelizing. For some, such a conversation brings back scary images of door-to-door encounters that made you feel trapped and judged.

But such door-to-door antics do not define evangelism. A simple conversation about why church is important to you or why God is important to you is enough. You don't have to stand on the street corner, with Bible in hand, to share God's message. A gentle letter to a friend letting them know you're praying for them or an invitation to a church event or worship service is evangelism in and of itself.

And a recent study conducted by LifeWay confirms that most folks don't like going door-to-door or being the evangelized in such a matter. In fact, most enjoy and are receptive to evangelism in the following ways:
In the same study, people were asked when they would be most receptive to someone 'sharing their faith' and the response is interesting. Most folks are receptive:

As you can see, the holidays can be a wonderful time to invite a friend to church--and such an invitation can have lasting benefits.

In short, these studies tell us what many of us already know. Rather than through various methods of advertising, the best results come through personal contact. You are more likely to influence the people you know for the gospel than a tract, billboard, commercial, TV or radio preacher. Those other things may help, but relationship is central.

h/t Ed Stetzer.com. Interestingly enough, this Southern Baptist expert in church growth is leading a workshop for UCC church leaders in Nashville. It'll be interesting to see how Stetzer's methodologies translate in UCC settings.

The Dangers of Fundamentalism

During our Lenten season, we've been watching a video series on Wednesday nights called Living the Questions. The video series is a discussion about how to interpret being a Christian from a progressive or liberal perspective and how to find one's faith in it.

This morning, I discovered that YouTube has several segments of the video series. I discovered this one from John Dominic Crossan. We saw this one in our first segment.

Pastor's Health Update

Hi everyone. I am sure by now you know that I have been in the Englewood Hospital. On Wednesday of last week, I came down with serious chest pains both in back and on my front coupled with difficulty breathing. Fearing the worst, Jay took me to the hospital where, after a CAT scan, it was determined that I had a pulmonary embolism. A pulmonary embolism is basically blood clots in the lungs. It's a very serious situation.

I was admitted to the hospital and immediately given strong drugs and was subject to a plethora of tests. I was also told to eat, sleep, and that I'd be there for several days. As it turned out, I was only there until Friday night when I was released. I was told to take it easy for the next few days.

And so that is exactly what I am doing. I go back to the hospital for the results of the various tests this week. The doctors have not been able to discern why I had blood clots. Hopefully they'll find out. In the meantime, I am taking Lovenox injections in my stomach (Ouch!) and am on high doses of Coumadin (a blood thinner). The hemotologist was confident that they'll find a cause for my blood clots and said that I may not have to stay on the drugs indefinately (my doctor, however, wasn't so optimistic and told me to expect to stay on Coumadin for the rest of my life). Who should I believe? Who knows. I don't have enough information yet to make the right kind of decision.

In any event, I am home. If you were in church on Sunday, you'll have noticed I didn't preach. The Rev. Paul Bryant-Smith gave a wonderful sermon and Lauren Vanderwerker, our seminary intern was the liturgist. I'll be back in the pulpit next week.

I would like to thank everyone who has been so kind and thoughtful these past few days. I have been the recipient of such grace and warmth that I feel fortunate to be blessed by such pastoral ministry from the very folks I am called to serve. From Howard baking me meatloaf to Cindy and Mark's generous oatmeal cookies, to Henry and Hattie's chocolate to everyone else coming to visit, to calling me, to texting me (don't you just love technology!), I am very fortunate to serve such wonderful people.

The Video Weekly, Wednesday, March 11, 2009

You may notice an unsyncing of video to voice. Hmm...I don't know why that happened. If you don't notice it, then please disregard what I am saying. ;)

CUCC Video Weekly, Thursday, March 5, 2009

Geoffrey Black: The New UCC President?

The search committee for John Thomas' replacement as President of our denomination, the United Church of Christ, has recommended Geoffrey Black. Geoffrey is currently the New York Conference Minister and has held that post for nearly 10 years. Personally, I know Geoffrey and I cannot imagine a better choice to replace John Thomas. He's a great guy with a heart for the Gospel. To learn more about his great guy, follow this link and read up on him.

UCC bylaws require that Black's nomination be affirmed by a two-thirds majority of the Executive Council prior to his presentation to the General Synod for call by election.

Something to Dance About

Here is a YouTube clip about a T-Mobile commercial set up by unsuspecting commuters in London. It really is something to 'twist and shout' about.



h/t Opal H.

The Video Weekly is Back!

Here is the Video Weekly for Wednesday, February 25, 2009.

Great Depression Cooking Show

Okay, so our economy isn't quite in the toilet yet but if and when it comes, you can take some cooking tips from this 91-year old who cooks the dinners she ate as a child in the Great Depression. This recipe actually looks kind of tasty.